Frugality sunk by the Longboat

"There's Treasure Everywhere," as Bill Waterson aptly titles one of his Calvin and Hobbes Collections. Thus is the feeling of the Viking Longboat housed in an estate sale in Alexandria, Virginia.

I’m not an impulse buyer. In order for me to buy something it needs to serve some sort of extremely important purpose. I can buy clothes to keep me warm, food to keep me nourished, blank dvds to serve my media needs. But I would never buy a trinket just because it looks cool. Yet, an unexpected encounter with a Viking Longboat blew my frugal convictions right out of the water.

I voyaged to an Estate sale, accompanying my friend Erin Lee in her quest to find a type writer, when lo and behold a ship so artfully etched and steeped in Viking lore arrested my senses, like a lingonberry in the tundra. Priced at $36, I could almost breathe easy, knowing there’s no way in hell I would splurge for such a novelty item.

Yet my drive to barter coupled with the woman of the estate’s good nature proved that the $36 was not a fixed price, and the initial price offering was highly negotiable.

Thoughts began flooding into my head. “This ship is no ordinary vessel… It radiates rape, rampage, pillage and plunder…the boat splits into three compartments, made to stow a trifecta of whatever the heart so desires.”

After stewing over the decision for a few more minutes I realized resistance was futile. I offered $15 she gave me $16 – I came, I saw, it conquered. Viking longboat you are now a permanent fixture in my life and I must say, fan jag är glad!

Sweden, the seat of the environmental movement

There are rumors that Little Miss Muffet packed up her Duffet and journeyed to Sweden. And who could blame her? The Swedes have unveiled their latest attack on global warming: an eco-friendly way to sit on the sidelines. This moss chair extraordinaire mixes natural design, beauty (well if you're the inner beauty type) and practicality. The grass really is greener on the Swedish side.

We could all benefit by being a little Svensk

Sewn from the seeds of adventure, emerging as a haven for beautiful people and culture, Sweden pops with glory and bursts with honor. She's a land of buxom blonde babes, impassioned gays, 24-hour night and days, stark beer, reindeer, ships to commandeer and a political system that will fucking blow your mind.

Whether it's seeing every moment as jättebra or feeling the freedom of Sweden's Everyman's Law, we could all benefit by being a little Svensk. Those of you being bitched around by the Ameri-conomy lift your nose up from the grindstone and take a fresh whiff of Scandinavia.

'Cause when it comes to motherlands she's the motha flippin. All you skeptics out there take that pole out of your ass, shove it in the grass and dance around it. You're now one step closer to becoming Swede as hell.